Question & Answer Archive

Exits and Entrances

You can’t choose who your kids love – their hearts and hormones do that.  And you can’t  choose who they stop loving, either, or when.  All you can do is watch as the romantic vicissitudes of their lives reverberate through the family whose – omigod! – matriarch you seem to have become.  So when they – Read More

Exits and Entrances

Grown Kids, Grandkids, and Long Hot Summers

For working parents, summer can be a childcare nightmare; there are always a few days or weeks when your grown kids need you to fill in when their other arrangements fall out. It’s a chance to enjoy the grands on your own – all the fun and hardly any of the responsibility. But when you see it as an opportunity to “remedy” parenting practices you disapprove of, you’re not helping your kids bring up their kids – you’re taking over their job.

Grown Kids, Grandkids, and Long Hot Summers

Managing the Transition to College

Managing the college transition isn’t easy for parents, either. Here are some tips to help you navigate the new rules and new roles it requires.

Managing the Transition to College

Why Can’t My Grown Kids Be Friends?

We want our kids to love and support one another, but shared family history may not be enough to keep them together, especially if their lives, priorities and values are dissimilar. Often sibling rivalry that lasts into adulthood gets in the way of real connection. While our immediate impulse may be to make peace among – Read More

Why Can’t My Grown Kids Be Friends?

Whose Problems Are They?

How often do we say “When I was your age…” or “If you want my advice…” to our kids? Remember that the world they’ve come of age in is very different from the one we faced when we were younger, so we may not always know best! A key task of postparenthood is turning responsibility – Read More

Whose Problems Are They?

There’s No Place Like Home for the Holidays

While holidays offer a special opportunity to draw grown kids and their families  back to the heart of  shared traditions, they can also be emotionally charged occasions. Young adults come home because they want and need to stay connected to us, but often tension and conflict destroy that loving feeling.  Before you buy the turkey – Read More

There’s No Place Like Home for the Holidays

Your Money or Your Life?

Financial independence is a hallmark of maturity, which is why  money is often the stage on which parents and  grown children act out the drama of separation.  When, why and how much we help our kids financially depends on what we can afford and whether we think our help will lead to a happier life – Read More

Your Money or Your Life?